i made sum pancakes
oh my god are you shitting me
long distance relationships aren’t so bad if ur dick is long enough 2 reach ur girl hahaha swag
fuck the police
I personally believe blow jobs are an incredibly delicate thing, you know? Like if you were ranking it on a scale of 1-10, 1 I’m blowing kisses at it and 10 I’m choking on just vomit and semen everywhere. I think you have to start with fours and fives. It’s just enough so that you know I know exactly what I’m doing, but with zero enthusiasm, I’m giving you nothing. Then you’re just like ‘fine I’ll fuck her’. If I start off with a ten, I’ve got nowhere to go. Why are you going to spend anytime fucking me when you just came all over my face? I’ll give you a 6 after a fight, when we’re making up. Then, an 8 after you spend a shit load of money on me or get me a ‘sweet’ gift or whatever, I’ll do full 8. THEN, I circle it back; back to the threes, the fours, and the fives, because that shit every time without fail makes the guys dick alarm go off! He’ll be like ‘hey baby, what’s wrong with you? You’re acting funny. Why so sad?’ When really what you’re telling me is ‘god dammit, just suck my dick harder!’
hey now, hey now! this is what dreeams are maade of
I. Fucking. Love. Him.